Then Job said to the Lord, I know that You can do all things, and that no thought or purpose of Yours can be restrained or thwarted. [You said to me] Who is this that darkens and obscures counsel [by words] without knowledge? Therefore [I now see] I have [rashly] uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. [I had virtually said to You what You have said to me:] Hear, I beseech You, and I will speak; I will demand of You, and You declare to me. I had heard of You [only] by the hearing of the ear, but now my [spiritual] eye sees You. Therefore I loathe [my words] and abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42:1-6 Amplified Bible
Launching this website has been an extremely challenging process. The most difficult part about it has been balancing my responsibilities with the desires of my heart. I chose this particular book for this month, because I feel like the last 3 months has been my Job period.
After reading this book, I initially thought that Job and I were only similar because we were both going through a challenging time. But in reality, I’ve just realized that I also have been indirectly questioning GOD’s logic by questioning why things have to be so difficult and why I can’t just get things done right away. There were many times when I was unsure of whether a particular set of details that I wanted were necessary. There were many times when I was unsure of how I should present this project to the world.
I let my mind run away for a while but eventually I remembered that just like GOD is real, I could trust that the desires of my heart and soul were valid. I trusted that each detail was important even if I wasn’t able to articulate the value of the detail to anyone. And low and behold, the initial feedback that I’ve gotten from the website launch has been positive. I’ve received numerous words and signs of encouragement. Now, can you imagine a world in which I didn’t trust GOD and my spirit? I would have surely stopped this project a long time ago.
As I sat down to consider the scripture for this month (which was at the end of day on July 2nd, the day of the launch), I was touched by the lesson that Job learned. He learned that, although he knew GOD and could trust GOD, his mind could not always understand GOD.
I personally am glad that I’m not supposed to try to understand GOD. I don’t think I could if I tried. But, this scripture also tells me to trust the intuition that GOD has given me. Our gut instinct, our spirit (which is connected to the Holy Spirit), and soul…they are each here to guide us. We just have to listen to them. So, even though I don’t know where this website journey will take me (although I have clear desires), I look forward seeing the beautiful way that GOD manifests his plans for me.