Ambition & Gratefulness: My conflict

FWL-- Mountain Reflected on Lake-min

“Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” ~Matthew 5:13-16 King James Version

As with all things, the process of creating this website and everything that I have going on in my life, is quite challenging. As I sit down to think about each bible verse each week, I’m increasingly comforted by the fact that I will eventually find comfort, power, or peace in the verse for that month. The verse that I’ve chosen for this month is no different.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve silently considered not moving forward with this project. I’ve told myself that the few friends that I’ve told about this idea will understand why I can’t move forward with it. I’ve even told myself that my life “isn’t that bad” and I should be very happy with the blessings that I have. And then I came upon this verse.

This verse reminded me of the conflict that I have dealt with over the years—how to balance being grateful and being ambitious. I’ve struggled with this in the past and, as I said earlier, it’s recently come up again. This issue is really difficult to deal with for me because, in the past, some of the people close to me didn’t always understand that being ambitious doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for what I have.  So, in recent years I’ve just stopped discussing my conflict. Hence why I silently and briefly considered not pushing through with this project.

But, because I’m the type to not listen to “safe” advice, I’m moving past those bad thoughts. I’m trusting the fact that God put the desire to create this website on my heart and I’m running with it. I have faith that if nothing else, this process will at the very least prepare me for something in my future and at the most is one of many amazing steps along the path that God has laid out for me.


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